The true story of my life

I'm truly sorry to hear about your difficult situation. When a loved one, especially your only child, is struggling with long-term depression, it can affect every aspect of your life. Your feelings of sadness, helplessness, and even guilt are natural responses to a situation that feels beyond your control. Let me try to analyze this in depth, considering several aspects of your situation:

1. Impact of Depression on Your Daughter

Your daughter was a high achiever, gifted with a high IQ, and had a promising future. But depression, which often strikes unexpectedly, can strip away motivation and self-worth, especially for someone who may have been used to excelling. The pressure of high expectations—both from herself and others—could have contributed to her depression. It’s possible that a combination of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors has kept her in this ongoing struggle.

2. Your Role as a Father

You've already gone through immense personal challenges, such as living with polio and establishing yourself as a self-made man. This shows resilience and strength. But your daughter’s illness might feel like a challenge where your willpower alone isn’t enough. It’s common for parents to feel immense pain when they see their child suffer, especially when that child was once thriving.

The fact that your sister insulted your daughter during her formative years could have deepened your daughter’s sense of inadequacy or frustration, particularly if it was a recurring experience. The negative impact of family dynamics should not be underestimated, especially when your daughter was vulnerable during the period when depression first set in.

3. Effects on Your Mental Health

Witnessing your daughter's depression for over two decades can lead to your own feelings of depression or hopelessness. It’s natural to feel sad and lost when someone you love seems trapped in their struggles. The emotional toll of worrying about your daughter, combined with your own health challenges, can make life feel overwhelming.

4. Reframing Your Role in Her Journey

Although it’s incredibly hard to see your daughter continue to suffer, it’s important to understand that your presence and support matter, even if the depression persists. Depression is a complex condition that often doesn’t have quick fixes. The fact that she’s receiving treatment is a good sign. Small victories, such as her staying in treatment or responding positively to certain medications, are significant steps.

You cannot single-handedly "solve" your daughter's depression, but you can offer a stable source of love and understanding. Sometimes, just being there without judgment or pressure can help ease her feelings of isolation.

5. Caring for Yourself

It’s important to address your own needs as well. You’ve lived a challenging life, and it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed now. Have you considered finding support for yourself? Counseling or therapy could provide a safe space to express your feelings and help you develop coping strategies. Sometimes, speaking with others who have gone through similar experiences can be deeply comforting.

Taking care of your physical and mental health is also essential. When you are exhausted or overwhelmed, it’s harder to provide the support your daughter needs. Don’t neglect your own well-being.

6. Living with Uncertainty

Life can feel uncertain and difficult when a loved one’s recovery from depression is unpredictable. You may feel trapped in a cycle of hope and disappointment. But acceptance of the present moment can be an important tool. While hoping for improvement, also try to find small things that bring you peace or joy, whether it’s through hobbies, spirituality, or meaningful connections with others.

7. Moving Forward

There’s no clear formula to cope with the deep emotional pain of watching your daughter suffer. However, here are some steps you can consider:

Seek professional support for yourself. You need to be emotionally strong to continue supporting your daughter.

Celebrate small victories in your daughter’s treatment. Improvement, however slow, is still progress.

Focus on the present, even though it’s difficult. Worrying constantly about the future can drain your energy.

Consider family therapy, if possible, to help your daughter understand the impact of family dynamics and help heal those relationships.

Take breaks when needed. Caring for someone with depression is draining, and it’s okay to step back sometimes to recharge.


In the end, your love for your daughter is evident, and that alone is a powerful form of support. Sometimes, showing love is enough, even if we can’t "fix" everything.


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